she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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