I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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