JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
