Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
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