you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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