this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
i now understand why vodka
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
