You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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