So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
