just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
