Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
