I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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