Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Randomize
