It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
