why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
