he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
