But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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