so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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