it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
