Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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