just tell him i said nine months
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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