i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
