Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
