I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It's never too late to be topless.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
