She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
