we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
