my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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