I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
you traded sex for a burrito?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
