Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
