I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
