So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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