we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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