I feel great
I just peed on a car
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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