i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
