If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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