somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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