last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
