gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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