Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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