hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
