dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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