Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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