All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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