your thong is hanging out like whoa
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Randomize
