My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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