im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
