when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
someone threw a dead crab at me
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
