this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
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