Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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