I must be too annoying 4 u.
I heard we made out
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
