I'm eating all of the evidence.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
