I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You made out with two different species that night
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
